M

I am in a State of total and utter shock. More than I have ever been.
A man who has been a constant in my life since I was eight years old, is gone. He was my father. He was my brother. He was my mentor.

Michael Jackson is dead.
Even writing that sentence brings tears to my eyes.

I first heard his music at eight years old, my best friend introduced me to the Man In The Mirror from the Bad album. I remember listening to that soft voice, watching the album cover, trying to figure out for myself, whether Michael Jackson was a man or a woman!
But I was intrigued. I had to hear more! I simply had to! And I certainly did.

Now, 12 years later, I am the fan to break dimensions. I have the CDs, the records, the banners, the books and the gloves (yes, I own multiple of them!). I even have the dolls, for Christs sake!
And I cannot describe the love and admiration I have for the man that was Michael Jackson. His appearance, his stage show, his dancing, his singing, and definitely not least - his message to the world. And yet, he was no perfect man. He had flaws, like the rest of us. Like a cross between God and Human. Maybe and Angel? Maybe the new Jesus? Who suffered cardiac arrest to safe us from our sins? Something of the sort.

I was looking forward to the biggest event of my entire life, when I finally got tickets for the upcoming concerts this summer. And exactly one month before - his heart stops beating.
For some reason, that's the hardest thing to handle for me. It just stopped beating. Like that! Did he give up? Or had God really sacrified his soul, and wanted his Angel to come back to the skies?

My heart is broken. My brain is screaming in my skull. The Air is missing from my lungs. And it will be a long time before I Can breathe again.

To the memory of Michael Jackson. May he rest in peace. My father, my brother.

My everything